Me, the girl who proclaims not to drink actually had a drink yesterday. Two actually (it was happy hour). I went out with a group of people from work and when I got there they kind of plopped the drink menu in my hand and looked at me expectantly. “This one is fruity, Jamie, you’ll like this one.” My co-workers know very well that I don’t drink or drink very often and only like fruity drinks and I wound up ordering a Calypso Cooler and it was pretty awesome. I know that I like rum (Malibu Rum) and this had Rum and Peach Schnapps in it, so I thought hey, it’s got to be good…and it was. I get super quiet when I drink and one of the girls leaned over and said “What, you talk a lot at work, and then when you get a drink in you, you shut up?!” We all had a good laugh over that one. It’s true, I am a motormouth, always have been.

Today I have to work on my fractions and I’ve finally just gotten pretty good at them (okay, do you know how hard it is to solve an equation that contains multiple fractions that are over fractions?! with variables?), I’ve got a test on that on Monday, I’ve also got to start doing my research for my comparison/contrast essay (I’m doing it on corporal punishment on children [i.e. spanking]) and this topic will be used for my persuasive essay. Personally, I feel that kids today get too much handed to them and parents are too afraid to deal with their children and just get walked all over. I feel that some children do not get the correction that they need and never learn that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction (one of the laws of physics). I am not for beating a child - I just feel that sometimes parents need to grow a backbone. I don’t know how to encorporate this into my essay though, because I don’t want to come off as “Yes! You should hit your child, always!” and I don’t want to come off as wishy washy and not make my point.

Alright, so it’s nearly eleven o’clock and I’m wasting the day just sitting here typing on my blog and I’m hoping that I get through with all of my math homework and some basic research for my paper today so that later on I can try and finish this yarn I’m using so I can move on to the next color. A few of you may remember that I had made a beautiful carrot and mocha colored Afghan last year, but I had left it over at the apartment and I realized that I didn’t have my own Afghan, so I’m working on a new one. This one has what I call the Grandma stitch (you don’t yo, you just put your hook through the next loop and yo and pull through two, I learned this from my grandmother). It makes a very, very heavy blanket - so in order to lighten it, I am also incorporating a triple stictch - so overall this blanket will be medium weight.

Edit: Here’s a great tip for everyone so they don’t get embarassed like I did. Make sure you double check your sources to verify if they are correct. Don’t let a bad source make a bad you appear uneducated and misinformed.

Good gracious. One of the ladies I work with dragged (drug?) her crockpot to work today chock full of italian goodness. Braciole, sausage and meatballs all in one darn crock pot. And the pasta wasn’t wheat. I did have a little bit of each that she had made and it was muy fantastico. Then, then I came home (all be it 40 minutes late, but that’s not my point). My mother saved for me four Manicotti that she had made. Four. “Finish the dish, Jame,” she says to me. “Eat it because if you don’t eat it, I’m just going to throw it away and it was expensive.” Mind you that this was left overs and they had been in the fridge since Monday night, but not only did I say no to them, but she put all four on my plate anyway. I seriously think she tries to guilt me into eating it or else she will.

And I just did three chapters of math homework. Fun, fun I tell you. It’s not the hard math yet, it’s just a refresher course. I’m having a lot of fun trying to remembr PEMDAS (heh, you know what that is, right? The Power of Opperations or Please Excuse My Dear Aunt Sally or broken down even further it’s Parentheses, Exponents, Multiplication, Division, Addition, Subtraction). It’s a lot easier than it was in high school and right now I feel slightly dumb for even being in that math class. But I know that if I had just jumped straight into intro to algebra I would have flunked. But it’s all good. And as far as my English Essay goes, I’m really stuck. I don’t know what the hell I want to write about. The topic is something that you remember a lot as a child, but it has to be a descriptive essay. The one thing that always makes me think of is my Grandmothers funeral, but I don’t want to write about that. Hrm. Maybe I’ll write about Church Sundays. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I answered my own question. Damn. It’s nine-thirty and I have an idea. Do I dare stay up and work on it, or do I go to bed now and catch some much needed shut eye? Hmm. I’ll just write the first paragraph and work on the rest tomorrow.

And one of my new coworkers burst out in the middle of work today that I would be a great match for one of her friends. I was like “Do tell.” Apparently he’s funny and in the Navy, I won’t bring it up again unless she mentions it. I think if I were to bring it up, I’d come off as needy and clingy and dude, I totally don’t need to come off that way. Psht. I don’t need anyone but me….but between the internets and me, I hope that she does bring him up again. I’d totally go out and hang out with all of them. Maybe not looking for something, but as friends.

Sorry I haven’t been posting more, it just seems that life gets in the way of blogging lately. It’s really weird, now that I’m unattached that I have less time than I had before! I absolutely love my new job. I love the people I’m working with and to be able to function in another position as a pharmacy tech, which by the way, is so completely 180 degrees away from what I was doing at the retail Pharmacy. It’s just so different! All the girls in my office are on weight watchers, so if I were to bring in a Big Mac for lunch, I’d really feel guilty! Which is better for me because now I won’t feel so out of place eating fruit or a small sandwhich.

The week(end) in review:
On Friday my family and I went out and tried a new (to us) Pizza place. Every place we go seems to think that serving us pizza that is so burnt it could be used for a frisbee is acceptable. This place had enjoyable pizza, not the best I’ve had, but not the worst. On the way out one of the customers from my old job grabbed me by the arm and asked me how I was doing. It always amazes me to see people shocked to see me outside of that job. I am a person, you know!

After that I wound up going to my sister and brother-in-laws favorite hangout place. We wound up playing a round of virtual bowling (yippee! I got an 86! - not kidding). We made plans to go out to the roller skating rink on Saturday, but only if they had regular skates.

Me: I don’t know if I could use rollerblades
Sister: I totally know what you’re saying - we’d be like the pride of the 80’s, those who can’t skate with rollerblades
Me: Are they even called rollerblades anymore? And we’ll totally be the lamest ones there, you know, the only ones with four wheels
Sister: Jame - they all have four wheels
Me: -laughing- I know, but you know what I mean
Sister: Yeah
Me: I’d totally fall flat on my butt on those. I might need those ones that you tie on for little kids.
Sister: I’d be right there with you! -laughing-
Me: -laughing-
Sister: -laughing- [b-i-l] could come with us…-laughing-
Me: I could get him a tutu and fairy wings and he could wear the little pink ones

At my last comment we simply could not take it anymore and spent the next five minutes laughing hysterically picturing my brother-in-law prancing around on the old beaten up skates in a tutu and fairy wings. We had come up with a whole bunch of other things to laugh about, but this was indeed the funniest. We wound up not going because the rink was only open until 6pm on Saturday (what the heck, yo?). Later on I realized that the skating rink at night probably housed a ton of middle schoolers and we’d stick out like sore thumbs - this makes me laugh even more.

I also could not stand my hair recently. It was so long that the ends of it were sitting right at my hips. While I enjoy long hair, by hair doesn’t like being so long. I was getting tons of breakage and my hair was so thin and I had a crown of frizzies along my hairline do to the strands that had broken, regrowing and the ends were frazzled but my roots were dull and yucky. I was frustrated and felt like I was always having a “bad hair day.” So I got my hair cut. I told the woman I wanted something that was wash and wear, the style had to fit my face and work with curly hair. She gave me layers and also suggested a product called “Beyond the Zone: Noodle Head” and I went out and bought it at Sally’s last night. I wasn’t quite sure if it was mousse like or like gel, and how I needed to apply it. I took a shower and went with it. Tomorrow I’ll know that I need to start at the ends and work up towards the roots. I love the smell of the combo between the conditioner and the product. It kind of smells a little like coconut.

I finally got my financial aid! Yessss. I start school tomorrow and I’m really nervous. My sister and I went down to the campus to check out where our classes were going to be. My sister is a semester ahead of me (maybe 2 semesters, I don’t remember when she went back), so her classes were different than mine. I still have no idea who my English Comp professor is so I can’t drop the class and go into one that I know everyone likes. It’s way too late for that now. I should have changed my math class though, everyone who has had this professor says that they don’t like them. Procrastinators never win, people. And on the way home, we were discussing this car in front of us (I think it was a Lexus or something).

Me: That reminds me of those ugly Landrovers.
Sister: Yeah, but I like that
B-i-L: At least it wouldn’t be a purple Neon.
Me: Hey, I liked my Neon.
B-i-L: makes neon sound like a car revving up.
Me: Hey, I graduated. I now drive a shoe shaped car.
Sister: - says nothing -
B-i-L: Yeah….big step.
Me: My car isn’t quite cool enough. It’s like a Reebok, people secretly love them ’cause they’re like super-cool and comfy, but isn’t as cool like, you know, like Nike.

Again, peels of laughter, hi fives all around. And by the way, my car really is nicknamed “Reebok” and has been since day one. That’s right. I am cool enough for the Reeboks - ha!

Okay, I haven’t been able to say anything up to this point because I hadn’t told my job yet, and I didn’t want it to be a shock (and it would have made me look bad) in case they had happened to come across this website. So…my good news is, I just was hired at a new company and I start on the 18th! I’ll still be doing my pharmacy tech stuff, but it’s for an insurance company and I’m really, really, excited. It will be a great increase in pay (which is what I was one of the things I was looking for). The Pharmacist herself reminded me of one of the friends I have, she was super nice. I got a call back from HR today because I had had questions on the insurance and the dress code (I just wanted a clarification).

I finally get to dress up to go to work, heh. I know that sounds insanely stupid, but yeah, I’ve always had to adhere to a crummy old uniform. I actually bought a pantsuit yesterday, I really wanted a pinstripe, but this one is solid black. It’s super cute too (if you could call a suit cute). It’s black wide-legged slacks with a cuff (not to be confused with a hem, this is turned outward) at the bottom, the blouse is white button down with an awesome collar and the jacket is also black, long sleeved and shoulder padded (which I will remove, thank you very much). With this suit, I bought a pair of high heels that strap around the ankle - totally me. Even my Mother agreed, which is pretty sweet. The second outfit I purchased has a wide flaired leg, kind of creamy mocha. The top is awesome too - V neck with a criss cross in front and a 3 foot tie in the back.

It’s like I’m starting over - completely over. Wiping away my past and creating a totally new Jamie. It’s a little scary to think that everything I have done is my past, and everything that I’m working for - I mean really working for, is just going to make me, me. I’m going to be twenty-five this year. Twenty-Five! I feel like I wasted so much precious time, thinking things were going to turn out differently.

The College has my transcripts and now I’m just waiting for the Financial Aid to be finished. I need to buy my books but can’t until I have the money (which will have to be this week, in all honesty). I wish that things were going more smoothly and I wish I hadn’t procrastinated so much at the beginning of the summer. Oh well, I can’t fix it now!

My cousins wedding is in November and she’s having her bridal shower sometime in September - I can’t be there (as much as I’d like to!) but I haven’t seen her since I was 21, and that was only for a few random days while she was on vacation down here. I don’t particularly feel close to her, but I am very happy for her and her Fiancé. I do feel a tad bit jealous that everyone around me seem to be in these great relationships. But I know that I’m not ready to get into a relationship yet, I want to do so many more things before I even attempt to get in a relationship with someone else! i want to get myself at least halfway through school, go on vacations with friends, become just a general success in life. I don’t want to tie myself down to anyone.

I was emailed this question the other day and I thought I’d post it.
You seem so much different than you used to appear online. Do you think your ex has a direct influence on how you see relationships and life in general?
Well, my life with S was no walk in the park, to be honest with you. We were only happy for about the first six months. I started to really hate my relationship when we went on Vacation that first year. He made me feel like any time spent away from him was wrong - even if it was spent with family. He made me feel like I was beneath him, like a servant. The answer to your question is “you’re halfway right.” He did have a direct influence on my life and it was in a very indirect way. After getting out of my relationship with him and seeing how he could still use things against me to hurt me even more (the dog, not paying the electric in my name etc) I really realized that I simply didn’t want to be that way anymore. I really didn’t. It was the result of those feelings that pushed me to go to school and pushed me to find a new job. I realized that I don’t need anyone else to make me whole.

So, today, I officially became “one of those girls” who shopped at Aéropostale and Hollister. I figured, if I’m going to be in school in August, I don’t want to go dressed as someone who doesn’t care about their looks. Clothes don’t make the person, but they make the first impression! I also bought a nice pair of slacks and a blouse at Target, just in case I happen to need to go somewhere and look professional or go somewhere that’s casual dressy. I saw these awesome pin stripe jeans and was going to get them, and they were on sale and I didn’t get them. Frankly, it was a choice between those jeans and a new pair of sneakers for work/school. My Sketchers that I wear, even though they are almost a year old, still look alright. But I found a new pair that I was just dying to have at Bealls, and they were 30% and I have a coupon for an extra 15% off. That would make them like $20.

I also feel a little disloyal to my major because I’m already second guessing it and I haven’t even started yet! I’m thinking about switching my major to become a Registered Nurse (RN) instead of majoring in Education. If I got my Associates degree in Nursing, I would be making about five or ten thousand more a year than I would be as a Teacher and if I continued on and got my Bachelors in Nursing, I would get about fifteen thousand more a year and let’s not even get into if I kept going and became an ARNP. That’s a lot of money! And I’m not going to lie, money is a big deal to me right now because now that I don’t have to sit here and scrounge to make ends meet (don’t get me wrong, I’m still not rich but you catch my point…) and I can finally buy clothes and whatnot and still have money to send off to pay my bills - I really enjoy it and I’ve learned that it’s not as shallow as I thought it was.

If I want to be able to afford the things I want, then I’m just going to have to work a little harder at other things. I really love the patient-care aspect of being a Certified Pharmacy Technician but frankly, the pay scale sucks in a retail setting. You really have to work in a Hospital or a managed care setting in order to get the most for your title. I love the people I work with and I love the benefits but having an extra dollar or two an hour wouldn’t hurt either. Every day is something different and I do enjoy that. On one hand, I’d be making a lot of money - but on the other hand, I would have to give up a set schedule and maybe have to even work some holidays that I don’t want to (Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter to name a few) and I am really going to sit down and seriously consider getting into it.

Alright, so those of you who were asking me when I was going to get off my keester and make the weight loss blog - there it is on the bottom footer called “Less of Me.” Free to join and blog about your weight loss journey. Spammers and nay-sayers will be ip banned.

So, this week was really rough. I applied for a job that offered more money than what I’m making now, but I didn’t get it. J did though and I’m happy for her…well…as happy as I can be. I really do feel sometimes that I get crapped on for things like this because I’m not outspoken enough. A lot of that, I think, has to do with the way I view myself. And right now I feel like a fat lard and sometimes a little down on myself. So that’s one of my motivations on creating “Less of Me.” I figure, if I lose weight then I’ll see myself better. I mean I kind of took this as half insult, half compliment yesterday. One of my favorite customers said “Jamie, you get prettier every time I see you!” I’m well known for wearing my hair in a bun every day - and S hated me wearing makeup - so I looked very run down. But since we’ve been broken up, I’ve colored my hair, been wearing it down and wearing makeup.

Sometimes I feel like a new person.

And next Wednesday (I’m pretty sure I have off!) I’ll be going down to the campus and signing up for classes in the Fall (providing I can get a loan). I really want to do this and I think that will help my self-esteem even more. I mean, I’ve gotten rid of so many things - this will be something positive that I do for myself. And I do have someone that I’m interested in, and I think one person is interested in me. I just don’t know if I’m quite ready to make that leap yet into the flirty girl. I mean, it’s amazing to go out and live my life and not have to worry about if he’s going to be home when I get home, or omg, I spent 5 bucks, do I have to tell him? kinda deal. Although I do miss the company, really, for us - it’s better this way.

So, anyway, if you’re curious, just click the link on the right and it will take you to Less Of Me.