Dear Spring Allergies,
In case you didn’t know, for the last two years I’ve been getting tiny sticks of instant death injected into my flesh (read: allergy shots) so you would not rear your ugly sniffles, itchy/watery eyes and constant hacking. But it seems that you have come to visit me because you’ve missed me. I know I’m loved, but you are one that I don’t really care if I ever saw again. Yes, I know my silver car is now coated in a fine mist of your yellow pollen, but do not blame me that I can not wash you away. Water restrictions suck. So, I guess I’ll be speaking with my wonderful nurse tomorrow at the office to see if I can get another prescription for Singulair or at least a few samples because I simply can not tolerate your making me sneeze eighty trillion times per minute. Yeah, these sniffles? They need to go. Now. I will be doing a rain dance tomorrow to hopefully wash the pollen off my car and you into oblivion. Kthx.
- Me