So, I just spent the last hour and a half reading Marley and Me by John Grogan and I wish I had not gotten to the end. This was an incredibly powerful story and told brilliantly and I am definitely going to see the movie. The Marley in the book reminds me of my sisters goofy Lab (also named Marley, no doubt because of this book). I mean the real life Marley is one of those dogs where you could throw his ball and it would bounce off his head and he’d watch it bounce away and then it hits him that “Gee. I should have caught that!”

So, Keegan is officially up in Ohio with the Rescue and the official vet report is: Entropion (inward rolling of the eyelids) and Sebhorrea (basically eczema of the skin) are her ailments and there was nothing I did to her and nothing I could have done to cure the skin condition, it is incurable. And the things I was doing when I was with her were helping, not harming her. The fact that he didn’t put the creams on her after I left aggrevated the skin and made it 10x worse. Entropion is basically cause by excess skin that allows the eyelids to curve in. Surgery is usually done by tacking the eyelids or removing excess skin to prevent the movement of the eyelids from rolling inwards. Again, this is something that could not be prevented and she’s had both since birth – however, the first time I took her to the vet, the vet should have noticed it and maybe we could have made a payment plan for this (it’s an expensive surgery). And as far as the skin goes, that vet only treated her for a yeast infection of the skin and did not treat the cause (the sebhorrea). The combination of these things to fix will run into the thousands of dollars range and Keegan will simply get better with time. And she couldn’t be in a better place.

And as for me? Each new day brings a little wisdom, a little bit of good cheer and a little bit of comfort to know that it will get better. Being an animal person is who I am and this does not change anything for me. I simply wasn’t financially prepared for a dog at that time and did the best I could. I wasn’t in a good relationship (even though I thought at the time it would last forever) and I know now that someday things will be different. If not tomorrow then maybe next month. And if not next month, maybe six months from now. Who knows, maybe on Wednesday I’ll hit the Lotto and can pay off my bills and buy my own place and pay my own way through college. If I never get married, so be it, I don’t need anyone else to make me whole. But starting this past Friday I have set a 2 and a 5 year goal. I’m going to put away at least 20 bucks a week for a downpayment on an apartment or townhouse and 10 bucks a week for “Greyhound Cash.” And in five years I should have my Teaching degree and will be even more financially stable and able to afford what I want.

I have learned, though, that one should never judge someone else. I wish I had learned that lesson a lot sooner, too. Some of the nicest people you’ll meet may not dress in Hollister, or maybe they do – you never know until you truly can say “I know that person.” Knowing someone and knowing of someone are two different things with two totally different meanings. I’ve been judged a lot this past week, some were happy with me and some were not. I’ve realized that those who come to judge feel that there is some aspect of their own life that they don’t like and see it in someone else and project their own hate and disgust for the situation onto the other person. Those who pose opinionated questions (and you want a horse and a greyhound????) feel that they have right to step into someone elses life because don’t you know, the whole world is a microphone? These are the people that cast stones at other and surely must live in glass houses. These are the people that have to keep up with the Joneses because don’t you know Mr. Jones just got a new Mercedes with his raise (but what they don’t know is that he’s got 2 mortgages on his house and his wife is having an affair). My point is, is if you don’t know the whole story, you should take a step back and analyze things.

Where one door closes another opens.