I’m a sucker for surveys (you should be on my myspace if you like to get bombarded by them). So, here we go. Oh, and I got this from Melissa

Rules:

1- Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
2- Share 7 random and/or weird things about yourself.
3- Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs.
4- Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

7 Random/Weird Things About Me

1. I wear a lot of stripes. I enjoy stripes even though I’m not sure they are the most flattering me.

2. I love Reds and Browns. I think they just bring out my eyes (which are pretty spectacular mind you).

3. My secret on Wednesdays is Panera Bread. I can’t help but love their French Onion Soup and Bacon Turkey Bravo. Oh goodness. I can’t wait for tomorrow!

4. Secretly, I enjoy some country music.

5. My favorites will always be Tim McGraw and Faith Hill <3

6. I get really peeved when one of my animals like someone better than me.

7. I still want to be a writer at some point. To see my name on the cover of a hardcover book would be awesome.

I’m tagging everyone

This week I had planned on whipping out my trusty Nikon to go snap some photos of the local nature park. Its been beautiful outside, and I tried to breathe life into it - but it still remains dead. I’m so upset. I use my camera more than I could tell you and once you don’t have one, you suddenly want to take lots of photos. I’m going to try to save up for my next camera - the Nikon Coolpix L11 but I’ve gotten so spoiled by the 3200 that I’m afraid I won’t find a camera that has done the same things. The reviews on the camera are okay, but have yet to find sample photos. I love taking macro and nature shots, and I’m afraid that the crispness of the 3200 just won’t compare to a new camera.

I was going to go to Joannes Fabrics and pick out some fabric, but I have no ideas at the moment. I really sort of want to try quilting again, but the last time I did, I stopped after the first row because it did not look quite right. Maybe I’ll just start making a few blocks here and there and then just join them when I’m done. I don’t know - someone showed me an awesome block of a Cocker Spaniel and I about died. It was just beautiful.

So, today is a lazy day. I’m planning on making my pot pie tonight and having just a relaxing day. Score one for dieting.

Sometimes life is crazy, crazy. It’s the feeling when you first get out of the shower and shake your hair and water droplets go flying everywhere. Its the freedom and the power of knowing that you’re standing on a ledge about to soar off the edge only to be brought back to reality by bungee chord. Knowing that at some point, someday soon, your world will come crashing down around you and you don’t know whether to embrace the change or to run the other direction, fleeing for your life. And then you’re angry because you just want the whole saga to end so you can just get on with your life.

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I think I must have restarted this blog entry like eight times now. I’m trying to figure out what’s too private to say and what I can blog about. Have you ever loved someone so much that you wish that more than anything you could turn back the hands of the clock and go back to a happier time? I do. I wish that more than anything I could fix things when things were starting to break instead of trying to superglue them back when they’ve already shattered. This relationship came in with a nervous breakdown (the “oh-my-Gods did they catch us?” kind of thoughts.) and it’s slowly ending that way (the “I just want something different.”)

I know that all things happen for a reason, but I just have to know, where are the good guys? The ones you see in movies or photographs that are happy to be with their girls. The ones who don’t mind being blogged about. Who treat their girls with love and compassion. I know that Sidney is just as stubborn as I am, but just once I wish he knew what it felt like to be the last in line. Just to want something so terribly bad and have everyone else do it before you. Marriage, getting a house, getting pregnant. I mean, I just don’t understand why I’ve worked so hard and I have nothing to show for it. I spent 2 and a half years at this company I’m working for and am only making a dollar or so above minimum wage - even after being certified. I don’t understand, I’ve been in my relationship for 3 and a half years and there were no plans for a wedding…nothing. Nothing is moving forward and I feel like every time I start to get my balance, the rug is ripped from underneath me.

Someday I want to be that girl that the guy just sweeps off her feet. I want to be able to wear that little black dress and go to nice dinners. I want that vacation in the mountains, and the house among the trees. I want to be able to afford organic food and feel better about myself. I don’t understand why a girl like me has had more trials and tribulations in life than any other person I know. Isn’t there someone out there that will love me like I need? Maybe that’s my problem. Maybe I’m looking for too much. Maybe I just wish that there was someone out there like that and he really doesn’t exist. Maybe I’m not going to be a famous writer or photographer. Maybe I’m not going ot have that little house in the trees and if I never saw Vermont or Tennessee, maybe that’s just supposed to be okay and I’m just supposed to deal with it. Maybe the size 8 jeans rack at the mall is just there as a teaser, kinda deal, you know?

It’s so hard when I love him so much. When I look at him and see the man I fell in love with 3 and a half years ago. But there’s still dishes in my sink that need to be washed, and there’s the dog that still needs to be walked and I’m only one person and I just want to cry myself to sleep. Maybe I don’t deserve to have any of those things that I want because they aren’t what I need. Maybe he’s just not the one. Maybe he is. I hate life sometimes.

So, I wound up going to the gym on Saturday anyway. I felt so guilty about not wanting to go, that to punish myself I went anyway. My friend brought her sister, who in turn brought her friend from softball. J and I wound up going into the aerobics room to do our warm up, crunches, and some push ups. We did some free weights and some on the machines. To celebrate, I bought myself a pair of Adidas gym shorts, and a gym shirt (both black, Jamie doesn’t do white yet).

So, Mom and I went out to start doing our Christmas shopping. It was a blast. Marshalls, Ross, Bealls. I wound up getting something for my Brother-In-Law and something for my Mom. I have no clue what to get Sidney because all he ever wants is Benfica this, Portugal that. I usually just cheap out and buy him red shirts, because hey, Benfica is red. I once lucked out and got him a Red and White Nike t-shirt that could have passed for a Benfica shirt (not jersey). I think we might go to Kohls next week, or Fashion Bug for my sister. I really don’t know what to get anyone this year. What is it that when you grow up you have everything you want or need already? My Dad’s got quite possibly all the Guy Harvey shirts anyone could possible dream of. So does my Brother-In-Law. Two peas in a pod. I tend to want the more preppy clothes but wear drawstring pants, jeans, t-shirts. My sister wears thost constantly, but I don’t know what style looks right on her. I did find the cutest clogs yesterday at Marshalls, and was tempted to buy them, but they weren’t marked down yet (they were still at $35.00) and I still can’t do that yet. But they looked SO awesome with my jeans.

And the plus side to all of this, the weather is beautiful. Simply, beautiful. It is in the early sixties at night, and in the day it’s in the 70s. Crisp blue sky. I love this time of year!

Today is Saturday and it’s gym night - and I am so exhausted. I know I’ll be stuck at work for 10 and a half hours today (because people seriously wait until 6:00pm to pick up their prescriptions, and they all come through drive through). And Sidney has been staying up until like 12:30, 1 o’clock every night and I’m just so tired, and he always has it on something in Portuguese, and that language is driving me nuts. Do you know how frustrating it is, to watch a television show and not understand what they are talking about? It’s like you’re going crazy, or they are speaking martian. And I can’t sleep because I hear the language (loudly, he has to turn it up to volume 30 in order to hear the words) and all I can think about is me beating my head against a wall. I wish he’d watch it out in the living room.

So, I think I’m going to cancel on my friend. I just don’t want to go. Thursday was a complete waste of time. I guess I didn’t realize how tired I really was. The treadmill wore me out. Actually it was the other elliptical machine. I think it was built for a man, or someone taller than I am. The toes point down (instead of having a slight angle) and even on the lightest weight, its still hard to move. The other was grinding, so I think the belt in the back needed to be replaced. Maybe we’ll start going on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I just can’t take Saturdays, and what is the sense in only going 2 nights out of 7? At least I was lifting weights okay, I’m still holding strong onto 5 pounds. The most I’ll go up to is I think 8; that way I don’t build muscle.

I’m so excited that my vacation is coming up. It’s just what I need. I am going to sleep in, rearrange furniture, take the dog down to the nature park (camera-less, mine has gone to camera heaven) and just maybe do some Christmas shopping with what little I have. I already told my Mother not to expect things from Macys or Dillards. I’ve given up trying to give people the expensive crap. If I can’t afford to do that for myself, why should I do that for others? I’m sure these other places have nice enough clothes that I can give to people. Maybe I’ll even find some nice accessories for my Sister. Anywho, tonight I’ve got to get another assignment and blog for it - money, money, money!