So, I went over my parents house tonight and my Mom made her version of a Chicken Pot Pie. New recipe, but delish. I think she could have touched it up with a little more garlic, or pepper…maybe a pinch of salt. But, it was good none the less. I just pushed all my little peas to the side, they looked like little soldiers standing there. They kept rolling back into my food, and I just kept right on pushing them back.

Dad gave me a lecture tonight about blogging. “There was an article recently that said that kids give away too much info online.” I swore that I didn’t tell you all where they live, or what kind of jobs we have. I just said “I blog.” I also told my gym buddy that I’ve blogged about her - at first she looked a little offended and then she was okay with it. I swear I say nothing bad, friend. Now I feel a little guilty because here I am….blogging about family and friends. Hardy, har, har. The only one I do blog about is Sidney and I wonder if what I say sometimes comes across a little wrong. Yes, we are having problems in the relationship but I’d like to think we’re working on things. I’ve got a big mouth and we should all just shake hands and meet right now because, you all know that I’m just going to blab it all out right now, right? And my Father totally turned around and said “And no one needs to know about your sex life.” Major blush factor right there and I have never said anything about that to anyone but my Dr. so that one was kind of a gross topic.

Anywho, we get to the gym and head right for the warm up room. It is wood floored, like a dance studio, with mirrors all around. We start by doing our stretches. First with the whole, side to side, then sitting on the floor and stretching our legs. We demonstrated “the butterfly” from Dancing school from back when we were like 3 or 4. We still can’t figure out what on earth that is supposed to stretch, but hey. It was something to try. We lifted some weights (I graduated to the five pounders, thanks!). I lifted frontways, sideways, backways. I even did the whole “circles” thing from back in high school. I think that one hurt the most of all.

I did some bench presses, the thing where you sit on the chair and use your legs to lift a bar. Yeah - totally did that one too. I had to gag at the cottage cheese reflection in the mirror though, because that was pretty gross. Next time I think I’ll wear pants instead of shorts to the gym. A whole bunch of high schoolers came in while I was using the little thing where you pull down the bar (I’m so not gym material, folks). And I rolled my eyes. Again with the whole “God, I’m so fat” thing. Seriously people? So, they sweated it out on the treadmill and a little on the elliptical. Finally one of the older gentlemen says “I believe these ladies were waiting on those machines.” And finally a sense of reason. There is a 30 minute timeline on the machines if there are people waiting for them. So, she went on the treadmill and I went on the elliptical. I started out on the lower pressure because, hell, I’m still sick and we all know that being sick sucks.

Then, we go out to Steak and Shake (it’s our ritual).
“We don’t have any of the beef soup left.” I looked at her like “Huh?” But I really just said “Then I’ll take just my salad.” So, she brings me my salad, and my friends salad and we are gabbing away. The girl didn’t come back to fill our drinks, or even check on our food. My salad was gross, by the way. The lettuce tasted a little sour, if that’s even possible. So, we decide that yes, we are going to splurge on the berry cobbler and chide ourselves “At least its fruit.” There are a group of people sitting up by the counter, talking to all the staff. We’re still waiting on our dessert and our drinks when this other guy walks up to the manager asking if his fries could have come out of the fryer in a square, like a log cabin. Dude, someone played with his food. Gross.

By the time we went up to pay, I looked to my left, and there beside me are two of those girls eating huge bowls of the beef soup that I had asked for earlier. Wonder why suddenly they had the soup again when a little bit ago they had said they didn’t. I did not leave a tip and I really don’t care. I’m sorry, but in my book, you only get a tip if you are 1) courteous, 2) have good service and 3) are professional about the way you treat your customers. I just hate bad waitresses. Really.

So, after feeling yucky for 2 or 3 weeks, I finally went to the Dr. “It’s just an upper respitory infection,” she says. “But I can’t tell if it’s getting worse or you’re getting over it.” I guess I was in the mid stage of this. My lungs sounded semi-okay, but I had a lot of fluid built up in my ears (especially in my left) and she couldn’t tell what was really going on. “Call me if you still aren’t feeling better,” she said. Sure thing, Doc. l still feel really yucky. I know anti-biotics are not miracle drugs, but golly gee. I want to feel better now darn it! I’ll give it until Thursday, and if I’m still not feeling 100%, then I’ll give her another call.

So, I also found out that I supposedly weigh more than ten pounds above my weight on my scale at home. Either my scale at home…and at the gym are wrong and I really weigh a ton, or the Floater nurse just couldn’t get the right weight. It really sucks because I’ve been eating so much better lately! I’ve been eating more Protein, cutting out a lot of carbs, eating more fiber (they say 35g/day is what you should shoot for), smaller portions. Am I just destined to be fat? And why am I getting heavier? I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m getting too many empty calories somewhere. I guess I’ll have to start looking at what I’m really eating.

So, today is gym day. I’m hoping to do at least 20 minutes with the weights, and about 40 minutes with the ellipitcal or treadmill, maybe both. I hope that my friend brings her little sister - last time she gave us a good warm up routine, and I don’t remember it all. Hell, I’m 24 and taking exercise tips from a 12 year old. I tell myself, she’s in Gym class nearly every day - and she’s got to know more about this than I do.

We all know that I was looking for College(s) to go to. I don’t have the pre-req’s to get into a State school, so I was looking into going into a local/city college. Maybe a specialty school. I’d really like to go back to school for Sonography/Ultrasound, so I decided to look around for loans and stuff like that. I wound up going to fafsa Online. I didn’t know that they offered low interest loans and even a deferred payment program to help you when you’re already enrolled in school.

There are so many different types of FAFSA loans, like the Pell Grant or the Stafford Student loan. Though I don’t qualify, a lot of others will - they have such a minute amount of requirements that you should meet. There is also this section on how to maximize your chances for getting the grant or loan, located under the FAFSA “secrets” page, things I wish I had known when I was just out of high school - that you should all know too. Like, I didn’t really know that you should apply as close to January 1st as possible. Also, did you know on your Income Taxes, that if you can lower your adjusted gross income by contributing the highest amount to your IRA or have a FlexPlan for health insurance, it can help you qualify for your FAFSA loan? My parents would have liked to have known that back in the day.

I hope that you all spread the word about the FAFSA application because a good education is not something you should waste. Live your dreams - go back to school!

December 24, 2005, I was proposed to by Sidney. Two years later and we’ve done nothing about the subject. Not for my lack of trying, however. I’ve seen old friends get engaged, married and babied and I’m here. Stuck.

I just got the photos from my cousins Engagement party and I’m so angry. Jealous would be another word that wants to creep into my vocabulary. I hate that I live in this apartment, I hate that I live in this stupid place. My friend from NJ is getting married on the day that I picked, in my old church. And now both of my cousins have gotten engagement parties?

God. I can’t even look at a wedding dress because who the hell knows when I’ll ever get married. I’m tired of being stuck here. I’m tired of being sick with no one that takes care of me. I’m just….tired. There’s no point in bringing it up to anyone because the line of crap everyone feeds me is “Oh, Jamie, your time will come too. Don’t worry.” At times like those I want to bash in the wall or kick someone. I absolutley hate that, why can’t they just say “You’re with a schmuck. Get over it.” And why can’t he just turn around and say “Oh, I proposed to you by accident, I never intended to get married.”

I mean, seriously. November 10th of this year was supposed to be my wedding. My cousins are all taking the classes to get married in the Catholic Church (because hell, we all know that that makes it official…I want my own mass!!!) or the others fiance is taking classes to become Catholic to get married in the Church. The other has taken all my ideas for my own wedding (strewn leaves over the table, with hurricane candles. Deep rich golds, reds, mahoganies will line her bouquet.) I am really angry and I hate that I’m angry, so I’m even more angry that this makes me angry.

So, I’m going to go and meditate, think of my “special place” and hope that I hear from my Mother “Oh, Jamie. Your time will come too. Don’t worry.”

And who wants to actually buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?

So, after waiting about 2 weeks for submitting my site to PayPerPost, I had given up any hope of whatsoever getting an email. Then, lo and behold, today I received the notification in my inbox. I was so ecstatic. Finally, I have a chance to sort of have that dream of being a journalist. You know, getting “assignments” and writing about them; no matter how weird they may seem.

It was always a dream of mine to be a journalist. I actually kinda went to school for it, but wound up moving instead. PayPerPost has so far been incredible. I had originally seen the site from Jenn.nu. I have been strapped for cash lately and thought that I could earn some money while doing something I love. Writing. It’s amazing to me that there is a place out there that I can just find someone out there that wants to have some little person like me blog about them on my own website and then pay me for it.

I could sure use the extra money this Holiday season. Its super tight around here, and I’d really like to go back to school. And PayPerPost is going to help me with that. If I find enough opportunities, I can put some money away for that rainy day. Its like my second job, you know? I would totally recommend PayPerPost as I can honestly say that they are going to be a big help to me. Their site is so easy to navigate and are easy to work with. I’m so glad to be working with them!

Get paid to blog

How can one pass up a free gym? So, I went back last night - and brought reinforcements. My friend and I worked our arms last night, mostly. I thought it was funny how I started out with the 10 pound weighs, then worked my way down to the 3 pound weights. We both giggled.

J: “Man, we’re so lame. We’re not getting stronger - ”
Me: “Totally. We’re the Queens of regression.”

So, then it was on to the actual machine. When you can pull down the bar, do leg curls and bench press and the butterfly (?) I think it’s called. She could do 40 pounds. Me? I was at a measley 20 pounds. Which I thought was odd, because I can normally carry 15 bags of groceries (which has to be more than 20 pounds) up a flight of stairs once a week. But anyway, onto the treadmill where we totally got owned by this guy sprinting on the Elliptical. Seriously, dude - sprinting? So, I decided to play Ms. Cool Jamie, and decided to run on the treadmill….for a minute. I thought I was going to die.

Steak and Shake:
Me: I’ll have the small salad, with a bowl of soup.
Waitress: Really?
Me: Yeah. I mean it.
J: I’ll have the Taco Salad.

(later on, when we were finished.)

Waitress: You ate the bowl too?
J: (give the duh look) It’s edible.
Waitress: I didn’t know that.