Bathing-suit shopping. Need I say more? Oh, but I will. How awful is bathing-suit shopping?! Seriously, I looked through the racks and see these itty bitty, teeny weeny bathing suits (which would probably only cover one of my boobs) and kept moving up through the rows. Then I see my size with a big sign that says “CLEARANCE” with an arrow pointing directly at my size. Oh, joy. That just makes ME feel a whole lot better. So I grab three suits (horizontal stripe, vertical stripe and flowers). So you undo that hook, and turn around and lift that strap there, and then you’re supposed to magically take that first hook and wrap it around your neck and down the back and try to latch it to the other side. Um, no. I don’t like complicated things.

So, I am standing out in the aisle in a suit with all my extra gellato (heh, it’s sounds better then cellulite, right?) hanging out and I’m saying “Ma, does this make me look fat?” and she’s all like “Noo, but I don’t like the stripes going that way,” and I was like “Well, I know I’m fat, but seriously Ma, stripes don’t help it.” As we were leaving some strange woman runs up to me and hugs me with tears in her eyes. She gasps.

“I heard what you said, honey, about being fat.” and she goes on to tell me about how she was an obese child and how she never had friends. Then she went and worked hard and lost her weight (she was a size 0 now). She was all like “Your future husband will love you just the way you are, don’t change. Love yourself.” Then she gave me the peace sign and walked into the stall to try on her size 0 jeans. My mother and I laughed our asses off.

So, I wound up going to I want to say Marshalls or Ross and I found the cutest tankini. The top is blue paisley with brown bottoms. I was going to go for the ultra nice blue wide striped tankini but I liked the paisley better. It has only one strap (yay for me!) and I was dead set on following my diet, but then came along Pizza Hut and Dairy Queen and pfft. Yeah, like I’m going to pass up a slice of Supreme Pan Pizza and a freaking Blizzard. Yeah, okay. I’ll just actually do some sit ups tonight to work on my abs. Hey, if I can just loose one inch around my waist by the 9th, I’ll be a happy bitch.

Today, I woke up late, not without trying though. The bird thinks it’s funny everymorning to cheerfully announce at 7:15 “Goodmorning, birdie!” just as I say to him when I uncover him. This morning, I shushed him, rolled over and just missed the beloved. He leaves for work early and I miss him in the mornings [some times]. Most of the time, I just curl up in the middle of the bed, holding his pillows and I’m okay with him going to work. But yes, his presence was definately missed this morning.

So, breakfast was good and I am now typing from my Mothers computer being rubbed on by the “Rock” [as in 'this cat is as dumb as a rock']. But, I get a free hair cut and free laundry since I’m here. *swoon*

Readers: What are you doing this weekend?

Went out with the girls tonight for a girls night out. Had a blast. We went to Applebees, we joked about men. About people at work. It’s funny when you actually get together with girl friends and have giggle fests.

My own boy toy, however was a little jealous that we went out. I can’t say I blame him. He was at school all night.

The most common thing to fight about in a relationship? Money. Guess what we did yesterday? You guessed it. We fought about Money. Paying bills, or rather NOT paying bills and who didn’t do what etc. We’re both battered and bruised (figuratively, not literally) but I think in the end we’ll somehow manage to get out of this funk.

So, I found a flea on Kimber this morning, so out came my borax. I spritzed the cats with their Natural Remedy (it has things like peppermint oil, lemongrass etc), poured and stomped the Borax into my carpets. I gave the dog a quick flea comb (two fleas). Tomorrow I’ll vacuum up the Borax. Will work like a charm - on our Sunday grocery shopping, I’ll just have to get more Borax and put it down again on Wednesday and then I’ll be done. Fleas you don’t stand a biting chance!

So, I joined SparkPeople.com and Fitday.com - and last night was my last night out with eating whatever I wanted. We went out in style, my friend and I. I had a Whopper with Cheese, Medium Fry - oh and Cheesy Tots. Yum. We’re going to do it at work too, so I helped her shop for healthy stuff and she’ll be bringing in her own lunch for a while. I’m buying a huge thing of Water to drink it today (64oz which is 1920mls). Thank you Jen for bringing up weightloss. And thanks to my good work-buddy for wanting to eat healthy with me. Weight Watchers - we don’t need you!

Is next to Godliness, right?

I kicked out my two overstuffed chairs last night (with a sign that says Free) Lord knows that if it says free, some one is bound to take them. If not, I’ll just put them next to the dumpester next door I’m a slick one, no?

I finally got my slipcover on my sofa, and finally got to vacuum the rug that has been buried for two months. Happy? Totally. I feel so much better now that I have a place to relax and watch t.v. It’s awesome to have that - because for two months it was covered in furniture. I moved it all myself because the Beloved was too damned selfish to help me move it. I did it all myself. I moved the dressers, the two HUGE chairs, the drawers, the couch, the table - everything. It’s good that when I was a kid I used to move my room around all the time, with full drawers. Thanks childhood!

And how selfish of his Mother and Father. They arrived safely at their destination and still have not called S to let them know. He’s tried to call them but there was no answer. Two thumbs down, dude.

To all the Mothers out there Happy Mothers Day.